Here I am, a full week out with nothing new posted. My goal of 3–4 times a week shattered. I’m working on the balance between work and personal writing. It will happen, it just needs a little time. What doesn’t help is that I’ve felt trapped in my post surgery body, trying to remain patience with healing and allowing myself the space I need for rest and recharge.
That isn’t to say that I haven’t been writing, but my focus has been on a longer piece inspired by the The Memoirist February writing prompt, which was also cause for the bulk of my last therapy session. Another day, another time. I finally was able to finish the piece I had been working on.
It’s just days away now for my two month post-op visit. I got x-rays this morning. I have so many questions for the doctor, but for the first time that I can remember I’m looking forward to physical therapy. I want to move my body again, I want to stretch and do yoga, I want to build up my endurance. Now, the radiologist report was positive; so I’m optimist. Just let me drive and start working toward the next chapter in this journey.
Last night I forgot my muscle relaxer before bed. It was a mistake. I learned early in recovery that the worst nerve pain happens at night; muscle relaxers helps keep major spasms at bay. But not last night; the nerve pain was hot and stabbing. When I finally gave up and got up at 5 and took the pill and some Tylenol, I was golden again within the half hour. There were breakthroughs in the day, but not nearly as painful.
Of course, the first thing I did after pouring a cup of coffee was to check Dr. Google to make sure I wasn’t broken.
Mayo Clinic, among other top resources, assured me that this was all normal. I’m honestly not surprised, one thing I have learned from doctors and nurses in the last two months is that nerve pain is awful and unpredictable — sometimes going as quickly as it arrived. It’s probably all the cruciferous vegetables, and coffee — yes, definitely the coffee as I understand it to be a fluid nerve regeneration agent.
Regardless the reason, not taking my muscle relaxer at night is a mistake I won’t soon forget. After a full workday, a trip to IKEA, play date coloring and crafting with Winter, and making dinner — I’m truly in need of a good night’s sleep uninterrupted. Well, except for the usual 2–3 bladder wake up calls, which is ridiculous, but menopause is an entirely different piece of writing.