Mistakes on the way to recovery

Nikki Barr
2 min readFeb 22, 2022
Photo by Michelle Tresemer on Unsplash

Here I am, a full week out with nothing new posted. My goal of 3–4 times a week shattered. I’m working on the balance between work and personal writing. It will happen, it just needs a little time. What doesn’t help is that I’ve felt trapped in my post surgery body, trying to remain patience with healing and allowing myself the space I need for rest and recharge.

That isn’t to say that I haven’t been writing, but my focus has been on a longer piece inspired by the The Memoirist February writing prompt, which was also cause for the bulk of my last therapy session. Another day, another time. I finally was able to finish the piece I had been working on.

It’s just days away now for my two month post-op visit. I got x-rays this morning. I have so many questions for the doctor, but for the first time that I can remember I’m looking forward to physical therapy. I want to move my body again, I want to stretch and do yoga, I want to build up my endurance. Now, the radiologist report was positive; so I’m optimist. Just let me drive and start working toward the next chapter in this journey.

Last night I forgot my muscle relaxer before bed. It was a mistake. I learned early in recovery that the worst nerve pain happens at night; muscle relaxers helps keep major spasms at bay. But not last night; the nerve pain was hot and stabbing. When I finally gave up and got up at 5 and took the pill and some Tylenol, I was golden again within the half hour. There were breakthroughs in the day, but not nearly as painful.

Of course, the first thing I did after pouring a cup of coffee was to check Dr. Google to make sure I wasn’t broken.

Mayo Clinic, among other top resources, assured me that this was all normal. I’m honestly not surprised, one thing I have learned from doctors and nurses in the last two months is that nerve pain is awful and unpredictable — sometimes going as quickly as it arrived. It’s probably all the cruciferous vegetables, and coffee — yes, definitely the coffee as I understand it to be a fluid nerve regeneration agent.

Regardless the reason, not taking my muscle relaxer at night is a mistake I won’t soon forget. After a full workday, a trip to IKEA, play date coloring and crafting with Winter, and making dinner — I’m truly in need of a good night’s sleep uninterrupted. Well, except for the usual 2–3 bladder wake up calls, which is ridiculous, but menopause is an entirely different piece of writing.



Nikki Barr

Normal human in an extraordinaire world. Memoir / Humor / Just Life